Note: I have cut out some of the "uhs" and "ums", but other than that, this is verbatim.

Drudge: Line Three. Jessica in Wisconsin, you're on the air with Drudge.
Jessica: Hi Matt. I was wondering--I mean, The Catholic Church: why should we care about what they think about a movie? They have no moral authority after the way they have treated all these children who have been abused and molested.
Drudge: Well...Okay, so if you take that out of the equation would they have more of a higher moral standing to criticize Ron Howard's movie?
Jessica: Uh...possibly. I just think it's so silly that they're criticising this movie just because it makes them look bad. They've already made themselves look bad. I mean, if they cared about making themselves look good they would start treating these children better. And instead, they want to make themselves look good by making people not see this movie.
Drudge: You think it will really not be effective in they launch a boycott from the Vatican saying "Do not see..."
Jessica: Oh, certainly not. I'm going to go see it simply because they Catholics don't want me to.
Drudge: Wow...So, it's not part of a Hollywood trend to rip down religions?
Jessica: Umm....I don't really know. For me, personally, I don't really care. With the Catholic Church, I think they deserve it.
Drudge: Wow. Well, all right. Thanks for calling there. I appreciate it. You sound completely sincere. That's a deeper problem, than Da Vinci Code released in 3000 theatres. I think what Jessica is picking up on there is a much deeper problem with the Church as a whole and [its] credibility. But, I do think that there are many followers and devout who will be a little angry that they are depicting Jesus having an affair, uh having sex, with Mary or whatever Da Vinci Code is.

Note

In the interest of full disclosure, I admit I am also going to see The Da Vinci Code so that I can mock Tom Hanks' hair, which, if publicity photos are any indication, is even more ridiculous than Basil Rathbone's in Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon.