August is now officially the unofficial Tarzan Appreciation Month here at the Jessica Journals. Having recently watched all six classic MGM Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan films, I have now moved on to more modern T-Zan fare. Yes, I speak of Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes.
I have a somewhat sentimental reason for liking this movie--one of the lucent memories of my early childhood is of watching the Christmas ball scene in this film and seeing Tarzan make monkey noises over his grandfather. For whatever reason, I didn't watch the rest of the movie, but that scene has remained with me from that day until yesterday when I was finally able to put a context to my fledgling memory.
Greystoke: The Blah Blah Blah was the movie that introduced Christopher Lambert to the English-speaking world. At nearly two and one half hours long it is an epic which follows our man T-Zan from the death of his parents in the jungles of Africa and his childhood among a tribe of apes, to his discovery by a Belgian explorer and his awakening sense of his human-ness, all the way up through his entrance into civilization and society and the struggle that arises as he faces the conflicting demands of his breeding and his nature.
Plainly stated, I liked this movie--particularly the first half which dealt with Tarzan's life amongst the apes (and which was filmed on location in luscious Cameroon, thus, mercifully, sparing me from cheap backlot sets and stock footage). However, our man didn't figure out how to make himself a loincloth until he became Christopher Lambert, so prior to that transformation there were a lot of strategically placed items and interesting choreography. I thought the writing weakened after the action moved to England; however, hot monkey sex did occur so it's all good.
The one great drawback of this movie is the fact that Christopher Lambert is as absolutely French-looking as a man can be. Prior to the most recent presidential campaign this would not necessarily have been a problem; however, this is a post-2004 world, and John Kerry in a loin cloth making monkey noises with his chimpanzee friends as he frolics within the wild, steamy African jungle is not an image I wanted indelibly burned upon my brain.
At any rate, all my recent viewing of Tarzan films has forced me to, if not exactly abandon, then at least reformulate my longstanding theory about Tarzan. I realize now that I cannot have theory about Tarzan; rather, I must create a theory about Tarzans. There are, I believe, multiple Tarzan realities ("Tarzaverses" if you will), and the bronzed Jungle lord within each of these realities possesses his own particular sexual orientation. What precisely determines his orientation I have not yet determined and must conduct more research before deciding. However, I have already gathered some important data....
I think that about sums it up...for now.
Copyright 2006 Jessica Menn