Jessica Menn was born in Appleton, WI. The oldest of six children, she was and is, predictably, bossy and overbearing.

In elementary school, she learned to love walking (it was the only way to keep even remotely warm during the many recesses spent outside in sub-zero temperatures), and she continued to walk everywhere even during the hottest summer months. As a result, strange people saw her all the time and began to think they knew her. They would walk up to her in restaurants and say "hello" and even, on one occassion, ask her to babysit their children (which, Jessica politely declined, as having five younger siblings did not exactly fill her with a desire to spend time with more children.)

When she was 16 she went to LA for a week and bought a black felt fedora, which she proceeded to wear at all times. This spawned a variation of the Dockers commercial (::person drives by in car:: "Hey! Nice hat!" ::person drives away::). This also provided ample opportunity for people to give a name to the walking girl who had, up until this point, remained anonymous. Now she was known as "Indiana Jones," "Blues Sister," "Blues Brother," "New York," "Michael Jackson," "Cowgirl," "Cowboy," and the ever popular "Hat Girl."

Shortly before her 18th birthday, she went back to Los Angeles to attend college at the *prestigious* University of Southern California. However, she quickly grew bored with the lack of education she was receiving and quickly dropped out and moved back to WI. One good did come from her stay at USC; she bought a new black felt fedora to replace the old one which was, by this time getting rather worn.

After a year of living and working in the place of her youth, she grew weary of her old haunts and found her heart yearning once again for the smoggy climes and clogged freeways of the City of Angles. Therefore, one year after she returned to her birthplace she bid it farewell again (hopefully forever), packed up all her worldly possessions, and, with the help of her father, drove across country from the birthplace of Willem Dafoe to the deathplace of Ray Milland where she promptly settled and became what every other Los Angelean is: an obscure and unsuccessful artist who somehow manages to survive even without the aid of a real job.

Currently, her two dreams are (1) to write a book that actually makes her enough money to live off of and (2) to own a cute li'l kitty-cat.


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